Monday, February 26, 2007

Snowboarding, Impressions, and Dissapointments

It's really amazing, how impressions and opinions differ between people.

Just recently I've taken up snowboarding with the Ski and Snowboard Club at my school. For the past few trips I haven't really hung out with anyone. Sure, I talked to people while I waited for the bus to pick us up, but as soon as we reached the slopes, I'd always strike out on my own. Last Friday, I met this kid, two years younger than me and we hit it off, not right away, but eventually. My first impression of him was a very loud, obnoxious little boy, but like most kids his age, he kinda stuck with me and I discovered he was very much like my little brother and his friend. They were all obsessed with video games, and they were all obnoxious. So, anyway I very much enjoyed talking with my young friend, and it was a nice change of pace having someone to hang out with on the slopes. He reminded me so much of my little brother and his friend that I couldn't wait to tell them about him. My little brother didn't know him of course, he goes to a different school, but his friend did, to my shock he hated him. In my mind they were so similar, I thought they would have already been friends, but my brother's friend absolutely loathed him.

Which brings me back to what I stated earlier, It's really amazing, how impressions and opinions differ between people. If you think about it, how we feel about certain people depends on who we interact with daily, who we've associated ourselves with our entire lives, and who our parents have forced us to interact with. First impressions mean everything because who knows when you'll see the person again, and what situation it will be. In my opinion, most first impressions are false. Most people are so nervous about making a good first impression, that they end up blowing it. My new friend may have given me a bad first impression, but as we talked, I grew to associate him with my little brother, and grew to like him. I'm guessing that my brother's friend must have associated my friend with his sister, whom is quite obnoxious when she wants to be, thus instantly disliking him. Although first impressions are usually false, we base much upon it because without recognition we might as well not exist. Scientifically, to a girl in China, who doesn't know of my existence, I don't exist, so that's why we strive to make a good impression to as many people as possible, so that when our existence ends, it affects people and leaves its mark.

On another, morbid note. I didn't get into the High School Wind Ensemble. I tried many times to tell myself that I never believed I'd get in, but that's a lie. I expected to get in. I think that's partially due to everyone assuring me that I would. So, when I didn't, I was bitterly, bitterly disappointed. Clarinet is one of the few things that I'm halfway decent at, and I blew my chance at joining the greatest band I had ever heard. Yes, I was and am, very disappointed.

I've been having a bad week.

The only good thing I can say that came from this week was that I got to snowboard with my little brother, and I can control my board much better. There were a lot of people sitting in the middle of the slope and I was weaving between them. It was so exhilarating, the control I had over the board and the knowledge that I was getting better at something. It was so much fun. Plus, I loved doing something with my little brother. We don't do much together now a-days.

Until next time!

P.S. My mom took my Twilight and New Moon books away from me as a punishment months ago, then forgot where she put them! I am so furious with her. I WANT MY BOOKS BACK!

Whew, ok see ya! =)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Filling the Time Gap and Wind Ensemble Auditions

I'm sorry it has been so long!

I've just been very busy!

Ok, lets see. Just to be brief, Christmas was good, and my New Year turned out to be ok too. I find that each year New Years becomes less and less exciting. I mean, now It's not unusual for me to stay up till one to two in the morning on the weekend, so staying up till midnight has kind of lost its luster.

Anyway, for the present I must mention the fact that I tried out for the High School Wind Ensemble a week or so ago. The band teachers at my present school make the Wind Ensemble in the High School sound like the band for gods, so needles to say I really wanted to get in, and also needles to say I was dead scared of messing up the audition. So, in my desperate need to find out whether or not I really had a shot at making it, I went to my Band instructor and requested he listen to the piece I planned to play and critique me. I don't know if it was because it was early in the morning or what, but my Band instructor is extremely harsh when it's one on one. Did I mention I have an intense fear of playing the clarinet alone with someone watching, well yeah I do, so you can probably imagine me coming apart at the seams and making stupid mistakes when Mr. Band Teacher went mean. But, seeing my fear, my band instructor decided I needed a confidence booster, so he informed me that I would be playing my audition piece in front of the entire class. All by myself. Looking back now, I see that there really wasn't anything to worry about, nothing was at stake, but that didn't stop me from having a panic attack. Surprisingly, when the moment came, I actually played my pieces satisfactorily, which gave me the confidence I needed to play well during the audition. I don't know whether I made it yet or not, but even if I don't I'd like to give a big thank you to my Band instructor for helping me out!

And here I went and wrote a whole paragraph. =)

Oh and by the way, I was right, I AM a fan fiction fanatic! I can't go one day without reading one. I think it's one of those crazy fazes I go though sometimes. I hope I snap out of it soon. Yesterday, I read fan fictions for five hours straight without realizing it! Like I said, INSANE!

Anyway, I'm working on writing a fan fic myself. It's going to be a Twilight one, and I think I'm going to make it depressing, yeah depressing. Somehow when I write horrible, depressing things it makes me feel happy, and yes I know I'm insane. XD

So, now I must go complete that mountain of homework that is calling my name in an evil, EVIL voice that promises much suffering and anguish. =)

See ya!